I didn’t sleep. I woke up to my brother (unknowingly knowing I’m awake) talking out loud, about all the reasons we shouldn’t kill ourselves— those reasons amounting to the grand act of ‘just being happy’. You have no right to speak about this. But for some reason as I scrunched my eyes shut more and more, something felt a new— something was washed away, something was lost... I wanted to do something today, I wanted to be productive. It must be ‘manic’ part of the mind speaking, but I suppose ‘it’ can have it’s turn too~ It’s still eerie how it’s still so dark even at 08:00... but thats maybe because I’ve been sleeping through all of these sights. Everyone else knows it— I’ve forgotten how the seasons work. I want to discover what ‘winter’ is. I walk around the dim lights playing 2kki BGMs (weird&atmospheric ...). These fairly cheap Sony bluetooth headphones are paying off like no other impulsive act of consumeristic tendencies has... I warm up some milk and drink it... wondering... if I’m still lactose intolerant... oh well it doesn’t matter. Warm milk tastes maternal... extremely homely... maternal.............. motherly......... sweet... safe.. all things I am not nor I have. I then proceeded to sleep for 9 hours... falling asleep to the sounds of 2kki was divine... it reminds me of the episode where Homer is about to die due to eating pufferfish... and he accepts his death siting on his lounge chair facing the sunset listening to Bible verses. It’s the thought that counts... they’re usually not this optimistic... I picked up a donut from LIDL as you could get one free today... oougghhhh I’m such a fatty >_<!! I was feeling OK until of course, my mum reminds why my life is miserable and disgusting, and why I’m bad and lazy! And why I should do everything she says!! Ah... I can’t listen... it hurts...