My Journals

Hallo..... I ate a banana... bleghh now I feel sick... Then I did some actually significant website work on my conputer... aaahh wordpress scraping is...

Good morning... look at the snacks I didn’t eat last night >_< I’m probably going to stop noting down when I wake up and showering and eating br...

Guten morgan! I woke up at about 11:00, then showered and now I’m making lunch already! No breakfast unfortunately... I spend too long in the shower (...

Hi... I woke up at... well I dunno but I got out of bed at about 10:30... yum yum then I looked at ‘news’ and Twitter art for half an hour... Then ins...

Hiii... I woke up and took a very long time to eat breakfast!! So long that it was already lunch time, time to eat more.... It’s extremely windy today...

Good morning... I woke up at about 8... I was supposed to walk my brother to school since no-one trusts him enough but he went on his own and it seems...

I don’t remember waking up. But I did. So I spent more time modding my PS3 and adding some custom themes... Also recording some random B-roll footage ...

Today, I surprising woke up to everyone in the living room, talking about various things like housing and other stuff, well of course, I don’t really ...

Haiii... I woke up fairly early today at 10:00 (well early for me), so I got to eat some breakfast ^_^ I did more tidying up because there was an esta...

Yawnn... I don’t really know what to do today... it’s cool and breezy out... I kinda did notging today, well I did get a bike for my sister, riding ch...

Good morning everyone... it’s gonna be toasty today, with the mercury hitting 18 whole degrees Celsius!! So time to ignore the nice weather outside an...

Aaackk I couldn’t sleep that much, but nevertheless I woke up, had a shower, put the washing out, and fed my cats meow meow. Then I went on my compute...

Another day to wake up. I have just been working on my websites so far, I created a spreadsheet to keep track of everything properly, I was rememberin...

Good morning dear reader— lovely lovelyyy reader— there’s not that much to do on a lazy Sunday... but I’m getting sick of writing these entries on a p...

I woke up at about 12... it’s so sunny and overwhelming bright today >_<. I took a quick(?) shower then got told off by my sister for watching h...

It’s a pretty day today, but so blustery >_<... I messed around with music on my computer whilst my brother watched Epstein edits and US propaga...

08:57 - Good morning everyone, I feel so tired.. my eyes can barely move.... I basically spent most of this time stumbling around the house... at leas...

Today I woke up at about 11:30 and talked to Cali on my phone :3 He was very cute... then I hung up the clothes outside. 11:52 - After researching abo...

I am getting fat. By eating. Played video games with my sister otherwise. Happy new year. I pissed off my only friend. :(

I didn’t sleep. I woke up to my brother (unknowingly knowing I’m awake) talking out loud, about all the reasons we shouldn’t kill ourselves— those rea...

Crash out. owwww

Visited the millennium bridge... quite fun. York is nice and pretty when you’re not in the Town Centre (I don’t like it that much)...

BBC interview! How messy... The bbc BBC who came to york and did his recording it was the messiest production I’ve ever seen. I had to give him my bat...

I thought I was gonna die here 💔💔💔

Ed’s birthday was fun! Haven’t been bowling and to Nando’s in ages... I’m not too good at bowling... especially when... drinks...🍸

Lemon battery... Pretty awesome..

SUCCESSFUL PICNIC... though I did forget to bring a spoon for the tub of ice-cream...

Picked some weeds and cleaned up garden, played some UMKL, gave a gift, made a cake, discussed the upcoming summer... what a nice day...

Watched SERIAL EXPERIMENTS LAIN... it's confusing and it breaks me. Being a God of the world and internet would be great. I need to get better at diar...

The end isn’t coming... no one’s coming to hurt me... I just have to do better... to change and to fix myself and to be happy... Battle of the bands w...

Why why why why why.. Why do I still do it... how long can I hold it all together until my finally falls apart~ My end is coming...

Did some things :P ... I can’t quite articulate what... but.. I probably cried on Twitter like a little bitch...

Hang out with Ivo day! Me, Jake and Ivo went to CECILS. It’s nice to catch up with people (something I surely don’t do neary enough)! He’s nice...

Titanic. Good movie ^_^. So sad! I’m too neutered to remember what I was gonna say about suicidal ideation and my vast hollowness so refer to tweets f...

I’m sick of waiting for this ‘Gas Contractor’ what even is a contractor. Idk!!

Went w/ Jake to a ‘Poetry Soc Social’ but there seemed to only be four of us then... hung out with a quirky bunch. More depressing times over Milly an...

Watched PIXELS with some of the MarioKart Soc gang... was surprisingly a fun watch and overall good time ^_^.

Went to Lemon Press... was kind of boring ngl but I’ll put that up to personal fluke. Also started HALO 4 with Jake yay ^_^.

b-day soon... Watched more SQUID GAME 2 It would be better if I never existed. I should just die too. Is it OK for me to be here? The only person who ...

now i understand him —‘win’

Revising an exams... it's boring. I definitely didn't forget to write here.

Trying to fix my head... all day... ate more than 1 meal today.

Kinda slept all day... played Minecraft with Jake and mksocers... it was his birthday though he his home right now. I don't really know what to get hi...

Everyone’s nasty and mean to me. I don't like life... it makes everyone cruel and horrible... there's no way to avoid this. Went back to York today......

If only I could go overseas... LinkedIn... bweh... What a painful day. The realities of the job market suck.

It snowed quite a lot, makes it treacherous when trying to get next door (like I had to). Next door neighbour had his kids over (they're 30-40) who ta...

Played Minecraft, but also went to neighbour’s 70th birthday party... it sure was strange to see a bunch of old people dancing more eccentrically than...

Slept and played Minecraft.

Slept and played Minecraft.

Talked to cosmosy yet again, about the nature of our society and how we treat irl and online friends differently due to the neoliberal capitalist pupp...

[IMG 1: an unfamiliar sky— lying on the ground contemplating it all after a 3AM walk home IMG 2: an unfamiliar ceiling— lying on the bed... i didnt wa...

empty .. thats all i can say here

so alone.,, im sad. 4 ams are the worst

gets moody fast

Being home is strange ... little Nugget had a kitten tho :O,, it’s so cute .. and so STUPID !

so now what .... Listen To My Heart ひとりなんてもうやだよ見てよ私のこと

still everything i am and do disgusts me

jake completing sonic generations :P i didn’t expect we’d finish it ! ( the final boss 😭😭 ) plus persona 3 — specifically mitsuru

Mario Kart competition was fun! double dash is silly >_<

“you arent entitled at all—just flat out delusional” — there it is, that explains everything “i was gonna say “get some help” after this” “whatever” “...

he doesn’t care about me atall i won’t be gaslight anymore i don’t even know why pretend just do it tell me to ruin myself and end it all

i’m sad i hate people i’ll never get on with people this world is truly disgusting i’m disgusting filth too > why people disgust me i don’t like it...

i wanna be loved but i can’t do it ,, back so i don’t deserve it so i have to die

it feels like a long school trip ...

Never thought I’d make it to 19....... I should’ve been long gone by 16, but yet again- I’m conflicted. I love him... I should be happy... if only for...

why am i still alive-i didn’t plan for this

that i’m allowed to be a lil cute sometimes :3

dying, war and the general extinction of the life on this planet

i can’t wait to die

i’m so miserable >_<yeah no ok i genuinely think. i might be bpd idomtknow what’s wrong with me i dontttknowwww icant,,," this is horrible the i...

well— as to say, in an ideal world- I wouldn’t exist,,, but this isn’t an ideal world... and I suffer for it.

From now on I’ll bottle everything up. Nothing should be known. I’m miserable... everything hurts so much. No-one will ever know. Fine. That’sitidontc...

I want to see you as much as possible..,,, before you eventually leave... even if it hurts every time.

ifyourereading... the simple fact is that i should not exist

I did horrible. Shameful. 気持ち悪い

I don’t know why I’m here. Being home feels weird. It’s simply NOT home >_<. I did buy Switch AC adapter (since I forgot to bring mine from uni)...

i love the people around me .... i just wish i. could get closer ... i feel so unconfident in myself.... there’ll always be a wall between my true tho...

I saw a cool traffic light — also failed shopping for christmas dinner. Oooouuugh. I don’t think anyone’s gonna eat it — oh well college dinner had tu...

ow . oww. what is going on anymore ... ? ? ?

today i looked at excessive amounts of gay porn instead ofdoing my HCI REPORT

That movie is cute. I want to be cute with someone urggghhgghhhkckghhhhgghh.

what IS it want. i should talk to more people. im shy... and hate myself— great for interaction!

I did literally nothing today.

Panic. How sad! No-one cares about me... I’ll be forgotten easily.

It’s cold brrrzxzttt. I love seeing the snow- graced landscape.